Hi.  I’m Aaron Wheeler.  I work for a large fortune 500 corparation.  Because of the nature of my work, I have to give speeches all the time.  Over the past four 3 years , I’ve been invited to attend several black tie events for work , as well as to speek about six times at my friend’s and coworkers weddings.  People ask me all the time if I can tell them how to give a knock-out wedding speech.  Eventually, after my friends kept telling me “you need to write a book on this topic or something”, they eventually me to put together a web site.  I called their bluff, and here you are.  I hope to give you the best of the tips and tricks I’ve learned from years of giving speeches.  Hopefully they will help you get ready for any big days like these in the future.

The Wedding Toast

You might end up feeling surprised when you think of how simple a toast seems to give when you are thinkning about it, but how tough it really is when it’s time to go to it.  That’s what we’ll try to avoid, so you can have the best chance for a great toast possible.  Whenever this sort of thing comes up when I’m talking to people, most of them say “it’s nothing.  I can give  toast like nobody’s business,” which most people can, whether they know it or not, but you DO need to practice first.  You actually can do a great toast off the top of your head, and I advise that you do if you think you’re up to it , but even those of us who are more experienced in front of a crowd need to know that we have to at least practice by running the basic structure of our toast through in our heads before hand.  I know a lot of people who admit that they put off practice until the night of the toast, likely in the car on their way to the event.  What makes people procrastinate like this?  Fear.  

A toast is like a hello and farewell wrapped into the same little mini-speech.  It’s usually given when times are [good | at the best of times], and it lets everyone there know that there’s something in the person you’re toasting that you appreciate.  Most are kind of a send-off into the future, after whatever special event of today is over, and send off the person with the best of luck.

Q:  What if they don’t laugh?

A: You shouldn’t necessarily need them to.  Some people make their toast a funny thing, but get nervous that the crowd won’t see it as such.  If you’re not the most experienced public speaker in the world, my advice is not to try to shoot for the stars when it comes to being funny.  Something that comes from the heart will be much more appreciated and memorable .  Only try to make it really funny if you’re completely okay with the idea, thanks to your past experience, or it’s your normal personality.

Here’s my formula for a great toast:  It’s all of these 3 things wrapped together in this order:  a look back at good times together, a look to the future that is bright, and a tribute to good luck.  To see a detailed breakdown of the above, come see my site on Wedding Toasts and Speeches.

The expectation from long ago is that the father of the bride is the host of his daughter’s wedding breakfast. In times past that meant paying for the reception too, though the costs are usually shared these days. In keeping with that custom, the bride’s father is usually expected to act as the host for the wedding reception.

Sometimes a professional wedding MC is engaged, especially for society weddings. At most weddings the father of the bride is expected to give an opening speech and propose the toast to the newly wed couple at the beginning of the wedding reception.

There are five key steps to a successful father of the bride speech.

At the outset it is usual to say a few welcoming words to set the scene and create a happy atmosphere for a great wedding reception. The main objective is to get the guests to relax. A good way to do this is to talk about the wedding ceremony, the beautiful bride, the venue for the reception or even the weather — things that all the guests have their own views about — and how much you are looking forward to meeting everyone and enjoying the reception.

Secondly, as the host, the father of the bride welcomes all of the guests. It is usual to introduce any special guests, especially the groom’s family and those who have made a special effort to get to the wedding. Missing guests are often acknowledged at this stage also, especially those with close links with the bride or groom who have been unable to get to the wedding. A loved grandparent or favorite uncle who has recently passed away is often remembered at this point.

A third key component of the speech is to build some anticipation about the schedule for the reception, such as the highlight of the best man’s speech and any entertainment planned for during the reception, and for after the reception. Your guests will appreciate knowing what lies ahead for the reception.

As a fourth step in their wedding speech, most proud fathers want to say a few heartfelt words in public about the bride, their daughter. This is often the most difficult part of the speech to prepare for many fathers. There is not just one way to express your love for your daughter. Telling funny stories about your daughter growing up and quoting poetry are popular approaches, among many others.

Finally, to focus the attention of the wedding guests firmly on the newlywed couple it is customary for the father of the bride to call for guests to join him in a toast to the bride and groom. Choosing the right words for the toast is important.

Every father of the bride will use his own personality, humor and feelings into their father of the bride speeches around this or a similar simple five step speech framework.

Because few fathers will have much prior experience speaking at their own daughter’s wedding, most will find a professional wedding speech guide can be very helpful. Speech outlines and example wedding speeches are available, along with checklists of things and people that really should be mentioned, and valuable suggestions, such as popular jokes, quotes and poems to choose from.