The expectation from long ago is that the father of the bride is the host of his daughter’s wedding breakfast. In times past that meant paying for the reception too, though the costs are usually shared these days. In keeping with that custom, the bride’s father is usually expected to act as the host for the wedding reception.

 

Sometimes a professional wedding MC is engaged, especially for society weddings. At most weddings the father of the bride is expected to give an opening speech and propose the toast to the newly wed couple at the beginning of the wedding reception.

 

There are five key steps to a successful father of the bride speech.

 

At the outset it is usual to say a few welcoming words to set the scene and create a happy atmosphere for a great wedding reception. The main objective is to get the guests to relax. A good way to do this is to talk about the wedding ceremony, the beautiful bride, the venue for the reception or even the weather — things that all the guests have their own views about — and how much you are looking forward to meeting everyone and enjoying the reception.

 

Secondly, as the host, the father of the bride welcomes all of the guests. It is usual to introduce any special guests, especially the groom’s family and those who have made a special effort to get to the wedding. Missing guests are often acknowledged at this stage also, especially those with close links with the bride or groom who have been unable to get to the wedding. A loved grandparent or favorite uncle who has recently passed away is often remembered at this point.

 

A third key component of the speech is to build some anticipation about the schedule for the reception, such as the highlight of the best man’s speech and any entertainment planned for during the reception, and for after the reception. Your guests will appreciate knowing what lies ahead for the reception.

 

As a fourth step in their wedding speech, most proud fathers want to say a few heartfelt words in public about the bride, their daughter. This is often the most difficult part of the speech to prepare for many fathers. There is not just one way to express your love for your daughter. Telling funny stories about your daughter growing up and quoting poetry are popular approaches, among many others.

 

Finally, to focus the attention of the wedding guests firmly on the newlywed couple it is customary for the father of the bride to call for guests to join him in a toast to the bride and groom. Choosing the right words for the toast is important.

 

Every father of the bride will use his own personality, humor and feelings into their father of the bride speeches around this or a similar simple five step speech framework.

 

Because few fathers will have much prior experience speaking at their own daughter’s wedding, most will find a professional wedding speech guide can be very helpful. Speech outlines and example wedding speeches are available, along with checklists of things and people that really should be mentioned, and valuable suggestions, such as popular jokes, quotes and poems to choose from.

 

I have listened to quite a few groom’s speeches, and there often seems to be a moment of uncertainty and hesitation by the groom. This is a mistake you should not make.

Let us start with a few universal tips for presenting any speech at a wedding ceremony.

Do’s

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– Keep it simple, clear, and straight forward
– Keep it short. 3 to 4 minutes will be enough
– Write down your major points on a piece of paper or a card
– Smile at the members of your audience. This is a happy occasion.
– Be sure not to look grim and funeral-like.
– Speak loudly and clearly. Maintain your voice so everyone can hear. If there’s a microphone, use it.

Do Not Do These

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– Don’t mumble
– When speaking, do not look down or stare at the ceiling
– Don’t write out the entire speech. You only need some thoughts to keep you going from one point to the next.

There are two basic things that many men fear most: commitment, and public speaking. While this article won’t help you with the first one, it can be assumed that since you’re getting married, you’ve already overcome the commitment issue. So, that leaves public speaking, and it’s a lot easier than you probably think.

Here are five things you should include in the groom speech for it to be considered successful -

5 Suggestions

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– Be pleasant. Say nice, complimentary things about your new bride.

– No jokes, unless they are of a positive nature. Remember, you have a honeymoon coming up, your wife’s family, and the rest of your life to consider. Humor can play an significant part in any speech, therefore, we will review this topic in greater detail in other articles.

– Do thank your new wife’s family. You will probably be involved with them the rest of your marriage, so you do want to start off on the right foot.

If you do not like your wife’s family, just thank them for being supportive and move along with your speech.

If you do like your wife’s family, then express your fondness for them. Then thank them for inviting you into their family.

If there was any monetary contribution offered by your bride’s family, now is the proper moment to say thank you for their support.

– Next, you can thank friends and family for coming to share this day with you and to celebrate your wedding.

– Next, you will want to thank the Father of the Bride.

Your grooms speech is presented right after the Father of the Bride speech, which traditionally comes first.

This makes it so you can play off his speech and continue by thanking him for his words of support; then begin your speech right after him.

Here is an Example

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“Thank you, Robert, for words of support. I am proud and honored to be your new son-in-law. I look forward to living up to your expectations. I’d like to also thank my mother-in-law, Janice, who has always made me feel like a member of the family from the first time we met, and for helping make our beautiful wedding and reception a success. I’d like to say thank you to both of you for allowing me to marry your beautiful daughter, Sylvia.”

With this brief excerpt, you have accomplished a great deal: You have thanked the bride’s family, acknowledged their contribution to the wedding, spoken favorably about your new bride, and presented yourself like an all around great guy to the audience. And, that was only an introduction to your groom speech.

If you, the groom, are just like most of us regular folk, public speaking is not something you look forward to. In fact, you probably make an effort to avoid public gatherings. Unfortunately, this is one of those occasions from which you can’t hide.

The good news is, putting together your groom speech need not be as challenging as it might seem at first. That is, as long as you are not tempted to bolster your nerves with too much punch. Be certain you do not drink too much alcohol until you are back safely in your seat, having delivered your speech.

Keep the following main point in mind:

Your groom speech focuses on thanking those who have helped you and your new bride get to this point in your lives. You will generally speak after the bride’s father.

Here are six points to help you get started:

1. Express Thanks to the bride’s mother and father for raising such a beautiful daughter and entrusting her to your care. Also, thank them for any help they have provided for the wedding and for your new life together.

2. Thank your own mother and father for taking care of you and being there for you throughout your life and for any contribution they have made to the wedding and helping you to get started in married life.

It is not a good idea to make fun of either your bride’s parents or your parents during a wedding speech unless you clear it with them before hand. Even the most easy going people may not take kindly to being the brunt of a joke on this occasion.

3. Of course, you cannot proceed any further in your speech without thanking your bride. Thank her for being the beautiful person she is, and point out some of her best qualities. Tell her how much you appreciate her trust in you and her love for you; that you consider yourself a very lucky man. Once again, be sweet and don’t make fun of your bride to get a laugh. You haven’t got to the honeymoon yet.

4. Next it’s time to say something about your best man. Generally, it should be safe to make some jokes about him. So, save your need for laughs until you get to him. Quite often the groom’s speech includes some humorous anecdotes about the best man and or groomsmen, and this can go down very well.

5. The maid of honor, bride’s maids, and flower girls are next on the list to be thanked. Mention how lovely they look and how much easier they made the day for your new wife.

6. After you have thanked all these people for contributing to your wedding and to your life, you can mention anyone else who is important to you or your bride: Siblings, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and friends can be mentioned at this time. You may also include any personal messages you would like to give.

When you have finished your speech, you can hand the proceedings back over to the master of ceremonies, if you have one. The best man’s speech follows the groom speech. Now you can go and have that drink.